Type / Kind Parenting
In parenting parents tend to use certain parenting. According to dr. Baumrind, there are 3 kinds of parenting parents that is democratic, authoritarian and permissive.
Democratic parenting is parenting that prioritize the interests of the child, but do not hesitate to control them. Parents with this behavior to be rational, always takes action on the ratio or thoughts. Parents of this type also be realistic about the ability of children, do not expect excessive beyond the capabilities of the child. the parents of this type also give the child the freedom to choose and to act and approach to children is warm. (Ira Petranto, 2005). For example, when parents set to close the bathroom door when taking a bath with the given explanation, knocked on the door when entering the room parents, explaining the differences of men and women, discuss things that should not be made a child for instance should not be out of the shower with naked, so parents of democratic compromise with the child. (Debri, 2008).
b. Otoriter- Understanding Parenting According to Experts
Parenting is otherwise likely to set a standard that absolutely must be followed, usually accompanied by threats mislalnya, if you do not want to eat, then it will not talk to. Parents of this type tend to force, to rule and punish. If the child does not want to do what the parents, then the parents of this type do not hesitate to punish the child. Parents are also not familiar with this type of compromise and in communicating normally unidirectional. (Ira Petranto, 2005). For example, children have to close the bathroom door when showering without explanation, boys should not be playing with girls, prohibiting children asked why he was born, children are prohibited from asking about the opposite sex. In this case knows no compromise. Children like or dislike, want or do not want to have to meet the targets set by their parents. The child is an object that must be formed of parents who feel better to know which one is best for their children. (Debri, 2008).
Upbringing gives her the opportunity to do something without adequate supervision thereof. They tend not admonish / warn the child if the child is in danger and very little guidance given by them, so it is often preferred by children. (Ira Petranto, 2005). For example, children whose parents entered the room without knocking the door is left, naked from the bathroom left without being reprimanded, let the kids see a picture that is not feasible for a small child, the child is still small degan consideration. Actually, parents who menerapka upbringing like this just do not want to conflict with his son. (Debri, 2008).
Characteristics of Children in Relation to Parenting Parents
Democratic upbringing will yield characteristics of children who are independent, self-control, has a good relationship with friends, able to cope with stress, have an interest in new things and cooperative towards others.
Authoritarian parenting will produce the characteristics of children timid, reserved, closed, no initiative, fond opposed, like breaking the norms, weak personality, anxious and withdrawn.
Permissive parenting will produce the characteristics of children who are impulsive, aggressive, disobedient, spoiled, less independent, selfish, less confident and less socially mature (Rina M. Taufik, 2006).
Terms Effective Parenting
Effective parenting can be seen from the results so the child is able to understand the rules in society, the most important requirement of effective parenting is the foundation of love and affection.
Here things are done for the sake of the parents toward effective parenting:
a. Parenting should be dynamic
Parenting should be in line with the growth and development of children. For example, the application of parenting for children under five is different from parenting to children of school age. Because the ability to think toddlers are still modest. So parenting must be accompanied by communication that can not rambling and understandable language.
b. Parenting should be in accordance with the needs and abilities of children
This needs to be done because of the needs and abilities of different children. Shanti estimate the age of one year, the potential of the child has begun to be seen is like when they hear the music, he is more interested than his age, if parents already have an idea of the potential of the child, then she needs to be directed and facilitated.
c. Father mother must be compact
Fathers and mothers should apply the same upbringing. In this case, both parents should "compromise" in a set of values that can and does.
d. Parenting must be accompanied by the positive behavior of parents
Application of parenting also requires positive attitudes of parents so that it can serve as an example / role model for his son. Instill good values with accompanying explanations are easy to understand.
e. Effective communication
Requirements to communicate effectively is simple: take the time to talk with children. Be a good listener and do not underestimate the child's opinion. In every discussion, parents can give suggestions, feedback or straighten the erroneous views of the child so that the child is more focused.
Discipline also be part of parenting, start from small things and simple. For example, clean up the room before leaving for school children must also be taught to make a daily schedule so that it can be regularly and effectively manage its operations. But discipline must be flexibly adapted to the needs / the child's condition.
g. Parents consistently
Parents also can apply a consistent attitude, for example, children should not drink cold water if you're coughing, but if the child is in good health yes is fine. From there he learned to consistently against something, otherwise the parents also have to be consistent, do not let others words with deeds (Theresia S. Indira, 2008).
Understanding Parenting According to Experts
Main Factors Influencing Parenting
Parents retain the traditional concept of the role of parents felt that their parents managed to educate them well, then they use similar techniques in educating their foster children.
b. Education Parents
Parents who have more knowledge in parenting, it will understand the needs of children.
c. Socio-Economic Status
Parents from lower middle class tend to be harder / more permessif in parenting (Hurlock, E, B 2002).